Quartering Upon Friends

City-bred people have a pious horror of the country in winter, and no great regard for country visitors at any time, however much they may "let on" to the contrary. In rushing hot...

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The Re-union Thanksgiving Story

"Behold, for peace I had great bitterness, but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back."--Isaiah. A por...

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Nights With The Caucusers

Office-Seeking has become a legitimatized branch of our every-day business, as much so as in former times "reduced gentlemen" took to keeping school or posting books. In former tim...

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Penalty Of Kissing Your Own Wife

Cato, when Censor of Rome, expelled from the Senate Manilius, whom the general opinion had marked out for counsellor, because he had given his wife a kiss in the day time, in the s...

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Scientific Labor

"Bob, what yer doing now?" "Aiding Nat'ral History." "Aiding Nat'ral History--what do yer mean by that?" "Why every time the kangaroo jumps over the monkey, I hold his tail up."

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The Bigger Fool The Better Luck

The American "Ole Bull," young Howard, one of the most scientific crucifiers of the violin we ever heard, gave us a call t'other day, and not only discoursed heavenly music upon hi...

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The Science Of Diddling

Jeremy Diddlers have existed from time immemorial down, as traces of them are found in all ancient and modern history, from the Bible to Shakspeare, from Shakspeare to the revelati...

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The Two Johns At The Tremont

It is somewhat curious that more embarrassments, and queer contre temps do not take place in the routine of human affairs, when we find so many persons floating about of one and th...

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Who Was That Poor Woman?

I do not know a feminine--from the piney woods of Maine to the Neuces--so given to popularity, newspaper philippics, and city item bombards, as Aunt Nabby Folsom, of the town of Bo...

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Andrew Jackson And His Mother

It is a most singular, or at least curious fact, connected with the histories of most all eminent men, that they were denied--by the decrees of stern poverty, or an all-wise Provid...

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Dodging The Responsibility

"Sir!" said Fieryfaces, the lawyer, to an unwilling witness, "Sir! do you say, upon your oath, that Blinkins is a dishonest man?" "I didn't say he was ever accused of being an hone...

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Mixing Meanings Mangling English

There is an individual in Quincy Market, "doing business," who is down on customers who don't speak proper. "What's eggs, this morning?" says a customer. "Eggs, of course," says th...

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Sure Cure

Travel is a good invention to cure the blues and condense worldly effects. When Cutaway went to California, "I carried," said he, "a pile of despondency, and more baggage, boots, a...

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The Wolf Slayer

In 1800 the most of the State of Ohio, and nearly all of Indiana, was a dense wilderness, where the gaunt wolf and naked savage were masters of the wild woods and fertile plains, w...

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Incidents In A Fortune-hunter's Life

We do not now recollect what philosopher it was who said, "it's no disgrace to be poor, but it's often confoundedly unhandy!" But, we have little or no sympathy for poor folks, who...

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Presence Of Mind

Mr. Davenport--the "Ned Davenport" of the Bowery boys--before sailing for Europe and while attached to the Bowery Theatre, was of the lean and hungry kind. In fact he was extremely...

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The Vagaries Of Nature

Nature seems to have her fitful, frightful, and funny moods, as well as all her children. Now she gets up a stone bridge, the gigantic proportions and the symmetrical development o...

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Mysteries And Miseries Of Housekeeping

People of experience tell awful stories about the miseries of boarding, and boarding-houses, and it is very clearly palpable to us that keepers of boarding-houses could a tale unfo...

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Passing Around The Fodder!

A DINNER SKETCH. A few weeks ago, during a passage from Gotham to Boston, on the "Empire State," one of the most elegant and swift steamers that ever man's ingenuity put upon the w...

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The Pigeon Express Man

In nearly all yarns or plays in which Yankees figure, they are supposed to be "a leetle teu darn'd ceute" for almost any body else, creating a heap of fun, and coming out clean ahe...

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Appearances Are Deceitful

There are a great many good jokes told of the false notions formed as to the character and standing of persons, as judged by their dress and other outward signs. It is asserted, th...

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How It's Done At The Astor House

People often wonder how a man can manage to drink up his salary in liquor, provided it is sufficient to buy a gallon of the very best ardent every day in the year. How a fortune ca...

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The Skipper's Schooner

No better specimen of the genus, genuine Yankee nation, can be found, imagined or described, than the skippers of along shore, from Connecticut river to Eastport, Maine. These crit...

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The Troubles Of A Mover

"Mr. Flash in?" "Mr. Flash? Don't know any such person, my son." "Why, he lives here!" continued the boy. "Guess not, my son; I live here." "Well, this is the house, for I brought...

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Snaking Out Sturgeons

We have roared until our ribs fairly ached, at the relation of the following "item" on sturgeons, by a loquacious friend of ours:-- It appears our friend was located on the Kennebe...

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The Leg Of Mutton

I'm going to state to you the remarkable adventures of a very remarkable man, who went to market to get a leg of mutton for his Sunday dinner. I have heard, or read somewhere or ot...

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The Question Settled

"Doctor" Gumbo, who "does business" somewhere along shore, met "Prof." White,--a gemman, whose complexion is four shades darker than the famed ace of spades,--a few evenings since,...

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What's Going To Happen

In fifty years the steam engine will be as old a notion, and as queer an invention, as the press Ben. Franklin worked is now. In fifty years, copper-plate, steel-plate, lithography...

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Miseries Of Bachelorhood

Dabster says he would not mind living as a bachelor, but when he comes to think that bachelors must die--that they have got to go down to the grave "without any body to cry for the...

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The Tribulations Of Incivility

"A gentleman by the name of Collins stopping with you?" "Collins?" was the response. "Yes, Collins, or Collings, I ain't sure which," said the hardy-looking, bronzed seaman, to the...

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