FUSELI had a great dislike to common-place observations. After sitting perfectly quiet for a long time in his own room, during the bald disjointed chat of some idle visitors, who w...
THE late Judge C---- one day had occasion to examine a witness who stuttered very much in delivering his testimony. I believe, said his lordship, you are a very great rogue.--Not s...
ONE of the curiosities some time since shown at a public exhibition, professed to be a skull of Oliver Cromwell. A gentleman present observed that it could not be Cromwell's, as he...
AN Irishman being asked on a late trial for a certificate of his marriage, exhibited a huge scar on his head, which looked as though it might have been made with a fire-shovel. The...
THE valet of a man of fashion could get no money from him, and therefore told him that he should seek another master, and begged he would pay him the arrears of his wages. The gent...
DEAN SWIFT was one day in company, when the conversation fell upon the antiquity of the family. The lady of the house expatiated a little too freely on her descent, observing that...
A WIDOWER, having taken another wife, was, nevertheless, always paying some panegyric to the memory of his late spouse, in the presence of his present one; who one day added, with...
A NATION grown free in a single day is a child born with the limbs and the vigor of a man, who would take a drawn sword for his rattle, and set
Pope. SINCE my old friend is grown so great, As to be minister of state, I'm told (but 'tis not true I hope) That Craggs will be ashamed of Pope. Craggs. ALAS! if I am such a creat...
LISETTE has lost her wanton wiles-- What secret care consumes her youth, And circumscribes her smiles? A speck on a front tooth.
ON one occasion Lord Alvanley had promised a person 100l. as a bribe, to conceal something which would have involved the reputation of a lady. On that person's application for the...
A LECTURER, wishing to explain to a little girl the manner in which a lobster casts his shell when he has outgrown it, said, What do you do when you have outgrown your clothes? You...
JOE HAINES was more remarkable for his practical jokes than for his acting. He was seized one morning by two bailiffs, for a debt of 20l., as the Bishop of Ely was passing by in hi...
DO you believe in the apostolical succession? inquired one of Sydney Smith. I do, he replied: and my faith in that dogma dates from the moment I became acquainted with the Bishop o...
A YOUNG ecclesiastic asked his bishop permission to preach. I would permit you, answered the prelate; but nature will not.
A FELLOW on the quay, thinking to quiz a poor Irishman, asked him, How do the potatoes eat now, Pat? The Irish lad, who happened to have a shillalah in his hand, answered, O! they...
A WAITER named Samuel Spring having occasion to write to his late Majesty, George IV., when Prince of Wales, commenced his letter as follows: Sam, the waiter at the Cocoa-Tree, pre...
WHAT is light? asked a schoolmaster of the booby of a class. A sovereign that isn't full weight is light, was the prompt reply.
IT is related, that when a former Bishop of Bristol held the office of Vice-Chancellor of the University of Cambridge, he one day met a couple of undergraduates, who neglected to p...
A PAINTER of very middling abilities turned doctor: on being questioned respecting this change, he answered, In painting, all faults are exposed to view; but in medicine, they are...
PEOPLE would be astonished if they were aware of the cart-loads of trash which are annually offered to the director of a London theatre. The very first manuscript (says George Colm...
WHEN Foote was at Salt Hill, he dined at the Castle Inn, and when Partridge, the host, produced his bill, which was rather exorbitant, the comedian asked him his name. Partridge, s...
AN Irishman, who lived in an attic, being asked what part of the house he occupied, answered, If the house were turned topsy-turvy, I'd be livin' on the first flure.
AMONG the witty aphorisms upon this unsafe topic, are Lord Alvanley's description of a man who muddled away his fortune in paying his tradesmen's bills; Lord Orford's definition of...
LORD KAMES used to relate a story of a man who claimed the honor of his acquaintance on rather singular grounds. His lordship, when one of the justiciary judges, returning from the...
VILLIERS, Duke of Buckingham, in King Charles II.'s time, was saying one day to Sir Robert Viner, in a melancholy humor: I am afraid, Sir Robert, I shall die a beggar at last, whic...
WHEN it was the custom for barristers to leave chambers early, and to finish their evenings at the coffee-houses in the neighborhood of the inns of court, Lord Thurlow on some occa...
TRUE wit is like the brilliant stone Dug from Golconda's mine; Which boasts two various powers in one, To cut as well as shine. Genius, like that, if polished right, With the same...
A PERSON who dined in company with Dr. Johnson endeavored to make his court to him by laughing immoderately at everything he said. The doctor bore it for some time with philosophic...