A PHYSICIAN once defended himself from raillery by saying, I defy any person whom I ever attended, to accuse me of ignorance or neglect.--That you may do safely, replied an auditor...
CURRAN having one day a violent argument with a country schoolmaster on some classical subject, the pedagogue, who had the worst of it, said, in a towering passion, that he would l...
yours, S.S.
DR. JOHN WILKINS wrote a work in the reign of Charles II., to show the possibility of making a voyage to the moon. The Duchess of Newcastle, who was likewise notorious for her vagr...
ONE of old Mr. Sheridan's favorite characters was Cato: and on its revival at Covent Garden Theatre, a Mr. Wignell assumed his old-established part of Portius; and having stepped f...
SYDNEY SMITH said that the Court of Chancery was like a boa-constrictor, which swallowed up the estates of English gentlemen in haste, and digested them at leisure.
FOOTE one evening announced, for representation at the Haymarket Theatre, The Fair Penitent, to be performed, for that night only, by a black lady of great accomplishments.
(On Mr. Croker's reputation for being a wag.) THEY say his wit's refined! Thus is explained The seeming mystery--his wit is strained.
FORMERLY, members of parliament had the privilege of franking letters sent by post. When this was so, a sender on one occasion applied to the post-office to know why some of his fr...
IS there anything the matter with you? said a physician to a person who had sent for him. O dear, yes, I am ill all over, but I don't know what it is, and I have no particular pain...
MY dear, what makes you always yawn? The wife exclaimed, her temper gone, Is home so dull and dreary? Not so, my love, he said, Not so; But man and wife are one, you know; And when...
DR. BUSBY, whose figure was beneath the common size, was one day accosted in a public coffee-room by an Irish baronet of colossal stature, with, May I pass to my seat, O Giant? Whe...
MR. JUSTICE MAULE would occasionally tax the powers of country juries. Ex. gr. Gentlemen, said the judge, the learned counsel is perfectly right in his law, there is some evidence...
CHARLES LAMB used to say, that he had a great dislike to monkeys, on the principle that it was not pleasant to look upon one's poor relations.
FITSMALL, who drinks with knights and lords, To steal a share of notoriety, Will tell you in important words, He mixes in the best society.
CAMBRIDGE etiquette has been very happily caricatured by the following anecdote. A gownsman, one day walking along the banks of the Cam, observing a luckless son of his Alma Mater...
WHEN Admiral Cornwallis commanded the Canada, a mutiny broke out in the ship, on account of some accidental delay in paying the crew. The men signed a round robin, wherein they dec...
A GENTLEMAN was speaking of the kindness of his friends in visiting him. One old aunt, in particular, visited him twice a year, and stayed six months each time.
FOOTE being in company, and the wine producing more riot than concord, he observed one gentleman so far gone in debate as to throw the bottle at his antagonist's head; upon which,...
DR. BYRON, of Manchester, eminent for his promptitude at an epigram, being once asked how it could happen that a lady rather stricken in years looked so much better in an evening t...
ON the departure of Bishop Selwyn for his diocese, New Zealand, Sydney Smith, when taking his leave of him, said: Good by, my dear Selwyn; I hope you will not disagree with the man...
A NOBLE lord, not over courageous, was once so far engaged in an affair of honor, as to be drawn to Hyde Park to fight a duel. But just as he arrived at the Porter's Lodge, an empt...
(Said to be written by Peter Pindar.) THEY say, O'Keefe, Thou art a thief, That half thy works are stolen or more; I say O'Keefe, Thou art no thief, Such stuff was never writ befor...
COLERIDGE once dined in company with a grave-looking person, an admirable listener, who said nothing, but smiled and nodded, and thus impressed the poet with an idea of his intelli...
(On the charge of illegally pawning brought against Captain B----, M.P.) IF it's true a newly made M.P. Has coolly pawned his landlord's property, As the said landlord certainly al...
(A good word for Ministers.) THE Whigs 'tis said have often broke Their promises which end in smoke; Thus their defence I build; Granted in office they have slept, Yet sure those p...
DR. PITCAIRN had one Sunday stumbled into a Presbyterian church, probably to beguile a few idle moments (for few will accuse that gentleman of having been a warm admirer of Calvini...
A TOPING bookseller presented a check at the banking-house of Sir W. Curtis and Co., and upon the cashier putting the usual question, How will you have it? replied, Cold, without s...
A MAD Quaker belongs to a small and rich sect; and is, therefore, of greater importance than any other mad person of the same degree in life.
SHELLEY styles his new poem, Prometheus Unbound, And 'tis like to remain so while time circles round; For surely an age would be spent in the finding A reader so weak as to pay for...