GREAT Bulwer's works fell on Miss Basbleu's head, And in a moment, lo! the maid was dead! A jury sat, and found the verdict plain-- She died of milk and water on the brain.
AN attorney being informed by his cook that there was not dinner enough provided, upon one occasion when company were expected, he asked if she had brothed the clerks. She replied...
NATURE descends down to infinite smallness. Mr. Canning has his parasites; and if you take a large buzzing blue-bottle fly, and look at it in a microscope, you may see twenty or th...
THE old Scottish hearers were very particular on the subject of their ministers' preaching old sermons; and to repeat a discourse which they could recollect was always made a subje...
THOUGH a railroad, learned Rector, Passes near your parish spire; Think not, sir, your Sunday lecture E'er will overwhelmed expire. Put not then your hopes in weepers, Solid work m...
HOW monarchs die is easily explained, For thus upon their tombs it might be chiselled; As long as George the Fourth could reign, he reigned, And then he mizzled!
A WELL-DRESSED fellow walked into a room where they were talking politics, and, stretching himself up to his full height, exclaimed, in a loud voice, Where is a radical? Show me a...
KEAN once played Young Norval to Mrs. Siddons's Lady Randolph: after the play, as Kean used to relate, Mrs. Siddons came to him, and patting him on the head, said, You have played...
AN IRISH peasant being asked why he permitted his pig to take up its quarters with his family, made an answer abounding with satirical naivete: Why not? Doesn't the place afford ev...
THE COURT OF ALDERMEN AT FISHMONGERS' HALL. IS that dace or perch? Said Alderman Birch; I take it for herring, Said Alderman Perring. This jack's very good, Said Alderman Wood; But...
A COUNTRY mayor being newly got into office, that he might be seen to do something in it, would persuade his brethren to have a new pair of gallows built; but one of the aldermen s...
THE manager of a Scotch theatre, at which F.G. Cooke was playing Macbeth, seeing him greatly exhausted towards the close of the performance, offered him some whiskey in a very smal...
PORSON was once disputing with an acquaintance, who, getting the worst of it, said, Professor, my opinion of you is most contemptible.--Sir, returned the great Grecian, I never kne...
A SCOTCH pedestrian, attacked by three highwaymen, defended himself with great courage, but was at last overpowered, and his pockets rifled. The robbers expected, from the extraord...
THIS celebrated actor was, perhaps, in no part so excellent as that of Romeo, for which he was particularly fitted by an uncommonly handsome and commanding person, and a silver-ton...
A CLERGYMAN, who had to preach before Archbishop Whately, begged to be let off, saying, I hope your Grace will excuse my preaching next Sunday.--Certainly, said the other indulgent...
A DEALER once, selling a nag to a gentleman, frequently observed, with emphatic earnestness, that he was an honest horse. After the purchase the gentleman asked him what he meant b...
BARRY the painter was with Nollekens at Rome in 1760, and they were extremely intimate. Barry took the liberty one night, when they were about to leave the English coffee-house, to...
LORD BYRON, in reference to a lady he thought ill of, writes, Lady ---- has been dangerously ill; but it may console you to learn that she is dangerously well again.
MRS. ROBISON (widow of the eminent professor of natural philosophy) having invited a gentleman to dinner on a particular day, he had accepted, with the reservation, If I am spared....
IF two decided negatives will make Together one affirmative, let's take P----t's and L----t's, each a rogue per se, Who by this rule an honest pair will be.
TWO silly brothers, twins, who were very much about town in Theodore Hook's time, took pains, by dressing alike, to deceive their friends as to their identity. Tom Hill (the origin...
WHEN Curran was cross-examining Lundy Foot, the celebrated Irish tobacconist, he put a question at which Lundy hesitated a great deal: Lundy, exclaimed Curran, that's a poser,--a d...
THE play of King Lear being performed at Reading, the representative of Glo'ster was, on one occasion, taken ill, and another actor was found to take the part at a short notice. He...
AN attorney-general politely inquired after the health of a distinguished judge. Mr. Attorney, was the reply, I am in horrible good health at present.
AT a club, of which Jerrold was a member, a fierce Jacobite, and a friend, as fierce, of the cause of William the Third, were arguing noisily, and disturbing less excitable convers...
A YOUNG counsel commenced his stammering speech with the remark, The unfortunate client who appears by me-- and then he came to a full stop; beginning again, after an embarrassed p...
AT Birmingham, one of Kean's benefits was a total failure. In the last scene of the play (A New Way to pay Old Debts), wherein allusion is made to the marriage of a lady, Take her,...
COUNSELLOR LAMB, an old man when Lord Erskine was in the height of his reputation, was of timid and nervous disposition, usually prefacing his pleadings with an apology to that eff...
A VERY fat man, for the purpose of quizzing his doctor, asked him to prescribe for a complaint, which he declared was sleeping with his mouth open. Sir, said the doctor, your disea...