FRANKLIN, when ambassador to France, being at a meeting of a literary society, and not well understanding the French when declaimed, determined to applaud when he saw a lady of his...
CURRAN, who was a very small man, having a dispute with a brother counsel (who was a very stout man), in which words ran high on both sides, called him out. The other, however, obj...
HORNE TOOKE, on being asked by a foreigner of distinction how much treason an Englishman might venture to write without being hanged, replied, that he could not inform him just yet...
JUDGE BURNET, son of the famous Bishop of Salisbury, when young, is said to have been of a wild and dissipated turn. Being one day found by the Bishop in a very serious humor, What...
ERASMUS, of whom Cambridge has a right to be not a little proud, was entreated by Lord Mountjoy to attack the errors of Luther. My lord, answered Erasmus, nothing is more easy than...
THE celebrated Quin had this faculty. What sort of a morning is it, John?--Very wet, sir.--Any mullet in the market?--No, sir.--Then, John, you may call me this time to-morrow. So...
PORSON, once conversing with a party of congenial friends, seemed at a loss for something to cheer the inward man, and drawing his glass mechanically towards him, he took up one bo...
A BEGGAR asking alms under the name of a poor scholar, a gentleman to whom he applied himself, asked him a question in, Latin. The fellow, shaking his head, said he did not underst...
JAMES THE SECOND, when Duke of York, made a visit to Milton the poet, and asked him, amongst other things, if he did not think the loss of his sight a judgment upon him for what he...
SARAH, Duchess of Marlborough, once pressing the duke to take a medicine, with her usual warmth said, I'll be hanged if it do not prove serviceable. Dr. Garth, who was present, exc...
PAY me that six-and-eightpence you owe me, Mr. Malrooney, said a village attorney. For what?--For the opinion you had of me.--Faith, I never had any opinion of you in all my life.
A GENTLEMAN dining at an hotel, was annoyed by a stupid waiter continually coming hovering round the table, and desired him to retire. Excuse me, sir, said Napkin, drawing himself...
WHEN Lord Chesterfield was one day at Newcastle House, the Duke happening to be very particularly engaged, the Earl was requested to sit down in an ante-room. Garnet upon Job, a bo...
LORD NORTH, who was very corpulent before a severe sickness, said to his physician after it, Sir, I am obliged to you for introducing me to some old acquaintances.--Who are they, m...
A SOLDIER, who was being led to the gallows, saw a crowd of people running on before. Don't be in such a hurry, said he to them. I can assure you nothing will be done without me.
SIR B---- R----, in one of the debates on the question of the Union, made a speech in favor of it, which he concluded by saying, That it would change the barren hills into fruitful...
DURING the representation of Macbeth, an eminent special pleader graced the boxes of Drury Lane Theatre, to see it performed. When the hero questions the Witches, as to what they a...
NATURE has written 'honest man' on his face, said a friend to Jerrold, speaking of a person in whom Jerrold's faith was not altogether blind. Humph! Jerrold replied, then the pen m...
SEVERAL publicans being assembled at Malton, in Yorkshire, in order to renew their licenses to retail beer, the worthy magistrate addressed one of them (an old woman), and said he...
AN actor named Priest was playing at one of the principal theatres. Some one remarked to the Garrick Club that there were a great many men in the pit. Probably clerks who have take...
ENGLISH tourists in Ireland soon discover that the length of Irish miles constantly recurs to their observation; eleven Irish miles being equal to about fourteen English. A strange...
CHAPEL. TO fast and pray we are by Scripture taught: Oh could I do but either as I ought! In both, alas! I err; my frailty such,-- I pray too little, and I fast too much.
IN the parlor of a public-house in Fleet Street, there used to be written over the chimney-piece the following notice: Gentlemen learning to spell are requested to use yesterday's...
CHARLES MATHEWS, the elder, being asked what he was going to do with his son (the young man's profession was to be that of an architect), Why, answered the comedian, he is going to...
AN Irish gentleman, resident in Canada, was desirous to persuade his sons to work as backwoodsmen, instead of drinking champagne at something more than a dollar a bottle. Whenever...
A GENTLEMAN having a servant with a very thick skull, used often to call him the king of fools. I wish, said the fellow one day, you could make your words good, I should then be th...
AN Irishman once ordered a painter to draw his picture, and to represent him standing behind a tree.
AN Irish clergyman having gone to visit the portraits of the Scottish kings in Holyrood House, observed one of the monarchs of a very youthful appearance, while his son was depicte...