Lord Chatham

LORD CHATHAM had settled a plan for some sea expedition he had in view, and sent orders to Lord Anson to see the necessary arrangements taken immediately. Mr. Cleveland was sent fr...

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Steam-boat Racing

SIR CHARLES LYELL, when in the United States, received the following advice from a friend: When you are racing with an opposition steam-boat, or chasing her, and the other passenge...

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A Grim Joke

DANIEL DEFOE said there was only this difference between the fates of Charles the First and his son James the Second,--that the former's was a wet martyrdom, and the other's a dry...

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A New Reading

KEMBLE playing Hamlet in the country, the gentleman who acted Guildenstern was, or imagined himself to be, a capital musician. Hamlet asks him, Will you play upon this pipe?--My lo...

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An Upright Man

ERSKINE was once retained for a Mr. Bolt, whose character was impugned by Mr. Mingay, the counsel on the other side. Gentlemen, said Erskine, in reply, the plaintiff's counsel has...

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Comparative Virtue

A SHOPKEEPER at Doncaster had for his virtues obtained the name of the little rascal. A stranger asked him why this appellation had been given to him. To distinguish me from the re...

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Habeas Corpus Act

BISHOP BURNET relates a curious circumstance respecting the origin of that important statute, the Habeas Corpus Act. It was carried, says he, by an odd artifice in the House of Lor...

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Long Story

A LOQUACIOUS lady, ill of a complaint of forty years' standing, applied to Mr. Abernethy for advice, and had begun to describe its progress from the first, when Mr. A. interrupted...

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Rare Virtue

THE paucity of some persons' good actions reminds one of Jonathan Wild, who was once induced to be guilty of a good action, after fully satisfying himself, upon the maturest delibe...

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Scotch Simplicity

AT Hawick, the people used to wear wooden clogs, which made a clanking noise on the pavement. A dying old woman had some friends by her bedside, who said to her, Weel, Jenny, ye ar...

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Speaking Of Sausages

MR. SMITH passed a pork-shop the other day,--Mr. Smith whistled. The moment he did this, every sausage wagged its tail. As a note to this, we would mention that the day before he l...

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Strange Jetsum

A THIN old man, with a rag-bag in his hand, was picking up a number of small pieces of whalebone which lay on the street. The deposit was of such a singular nature, that we asked t...

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Use Is Second Nature

A TAILOR that was ever accustomed to steal some of the cloth his customer brought, when he came one day to make himself a suit, stole half-a-yard. His wife perceiving it, asked the...

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Driving It Home

THE late James Fergusson, Clerk of Session, a most genial and amiable man, of whose periodical fits of absence most edifying stories are still repeated by his friends, was an excel...

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Epigram

(On the King's double dealing.) OF such a paradox as this, Before I never dreamt; The King of England has become, A subject of contempt!!!

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Equality

A HIGHWAYMAN and a chimney-sweeper were condemned to be hanged the same time at Tyburn,--the first for an exploit on the highway, the latter for a more ignoble robbery. Keep farthe...

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On The Right Side

IT was said of one that remembered everything that he lent, but nothing that he borrowed, that he had lost half of his memory.

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Professional

AN editor at a dinner-table being asked if he would take some pudding, replied, in a fit of abstraction, Owing to a crowd of other matter, we are unable to find room for it.

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The Staffordshire Collieries

MANY anecdotes might be collected to show the great difficulty of discovering a person in the collieries without being in possession of his nickname. The following was received fro...

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The Sun In His Eye

LORD PLUNKETT had a son in the Church at the time the Tithe Corporation Act was passed, and warmly supported the measure. Some one observed, I wonder how it is that so sensible a m...

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Hard-ware

A FEW years ago, when Handel's L'Allegro and Il Penseroso were performed at Birmingham, the passage most admired was,-- Such notes, as warbled to the string, Drew iron tears down P...

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Pence Table

A SCHOOLBOY going into the village without leave, his master called after him, Where are you going, sir?--I am going to buy a ha'porth of nails.--What do you want a ha'porth of nai...

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Perfect Discontent

AN old lady was in the habit of talking to Jerrold in a gloomy depressing manner, presenting to him only the sad side of life. Hang it! said Jerrold, one day, after a long and somb...

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Professional Candor

A GENTLEMAN afflicted with rheumatism consulted a physician, who immediately wrote him a prescription. As the patient was going away the doctor called him back. By the way, sir, sh...

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Shaking Hands

AT a duel the parties discharged their pistols without effect, whereupon one of the seconds interfered, and proposed that the combatants should shake hands. To this the other secon...

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A Man Without A Rival

GENERAL LEE one day found Dr. Cutting, the army surgeon, who was a handsome and dressy man, arranging his cravat complacently before a glass. Cutting, said Lee, you must be the hap...

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A Witty Proposition

SHERIDAN, being on a parliamentary committee, one day entered the room as all the members were seated and ready to commence business. Perceiving no empty seat, he bowed, and lookin...

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Disapprobation

AN actor played a season at Richmond theatre for the privilege only of having a benefit. When his night came, and having to sustain a principal part in the piece, the whole of his...

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Motherly Remark

SIR DAVID BAIRD, with great gallantry and humanity, had a queer temper. When news came to England that he was one of those poor prisoners in India who were tied back to back to fet...

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Notice To Quit

AN Ayrshire gentleman, when out on the 1st of September, having failed time after time in bringing down a single bird, had at last pointed out to him by his attendant bag-carrier,...

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