IF anybody comes to I, I physics, bleeds, and sweats 'em; If after that they like to die, Why, what care I, I Lettsom.
IN the list of benefactors to Peter-House is Lady Mary Ramsay, who is reported to have offered a very large property, nearly equal to a new foundation to this college, on condition...
ONE speaking of the fire of London, said, Cannon Street roared, Bread Street was burnt to a crust, Crooked Lane was burnt straight, Addle Hill staggered, Creed Lane would not belie...
LAMB and Coleridge were talking together on the incidents of Coleridge's early life, when he was beginning his career in the church, and Coleridge was describing some of the facts...
A SCOTCH clergyman preaching a drowsy sermon, asked, What is the price of earthly pleasure? The deacon, a fat grocer, woke up hastily from a sound sleep, and cried out, lustily, Se...
A CREDITOR, whom he was anxious to avoid, met Sheridan coming out of Pall Mall. There was no possibility of avoiding him, but he did not lose his presence of mind. That's a beautif...
A MERCHANT being asked to define the meaning of experimental and natural philosophy, said he considered the first to be asking a man to discount a bill at a long date, and the seco...
DOUGLAS JERROLD describing a very dangerous illness from which he had just recovered, said--Ay, sir, it was a runaway knock at Death's door, I can assure you.
A MAN having been capitally convicted at the Old Bailey, was, as usual, asked what he had to say why judgment of death should not pass against him? Say! replied he, why, I think th...
SOME one was mentioning in Lamb's presence the cold-heartedness of the Duke of Cumberland, in restraining the duchess from rushing up to the embrace of her son, whom she had not se...
therefore I beg you will write to let me know.
AT the Irish bar, Moran Mahaffy, Esq., was as much above the middle size as Mr. Collis was below it. When Lord Redesdale was Lord Chancellor of Ireland, Messrs. Mahaffy and Collis...
IT being remarked of a picture of The Lord Mayor and Court of Aldermen, in the Shakespeare Gallery, that the varnish was chilled and the figures rather sunk, the proprietors direct...
WHEN Sir Richard Steele was made a member of the Commons, it was expected from his writings that he would have been an admirable orator; but not proving so, De Foe said, He had bet...
A MATHEMATICIAN being asked by a wag, If a pig weighs 200 pounds, how much will a great boar (bore?) weigh? he replied, Jump into the scales, and I will tell you immediately.
ONE day, when Sir Isaac Heard was in company with George III., it was announced that his majesty's horse was ready for hunting. Sir Isaac, said the king, are you a judge of horses?...
A CERTAIN lawyer received a severe injury from something in the shape of a horsewhip. Where were you hurt? said a medical friend. Was it near the vertebra?--No, no, said the other;...
A MAN, praising porter, said it was so excellent a beverage, that, though taken in great quantities, it always made him fat. I have seen the time, said another, when it made you le...
LORD ERSKINE having once asserted, in the presence of Lady Erskine and Mr. Sheridan, that a wife was only a tin canister tied to one's tail, Sheridan at once presented her these li...
AS Liston lay wrapt in delicious repose, Most harmoniously playing a tune with his nose, In a dream there appeared the adorable Venus, Who said, To be sure there's no likeness betw...
MURPHY was asked how it was so difficult to waken him in the morning: Indeed, master, it's because of taking your own advice, always to attind to what I'm about; so whenever I slee...
----, said one of his eulogists, always knows his own mind. We will cede the point, for it amounts to an admission that he knows nothing.
six-year-old at the foot of the class. Where? inquired old spectacles, amused by his earnestness. On the elephant! was the reply.
PRAY, Mr. Abernethy, what is the cure for gout? asked an indolent and luxurious citizen. Live upon sixpence a day, and earn it! was the pithy answer.
LORD AVONDALE, Chief Baron of the Exchequer, was much given to anticipation. A lawyer once observed in his presence, Coming through the market just now I saw a butcher, with his kn...
A GENTLEMAN travelling, was accosted by a man walking along the road, who begged the favor of him to put his great coat, which he found very heavy, into his carriage. With all my h...
LADY CARTERET, wife of the Lord-Lieutenant of Ireland, in Swift's time, one day said to the wit, The air of this country is very good.--Don't say so in England, my lady, quickly re...
A PHRENOLOGIST remarking that some persons had the organ of murder and benevolence strongly and equally developed, his friend replied, that doubtless those were the persons who wou...
A SAILOR went to a watchmaker, and presenting a small French watch to him, demanded to know how much the repair of it would come to. The watchmaker, after examining it, said, It wi...
THE late Dr. Risk, of Dalserf, being one of the moderators, did not satisfy, by his preaching, the Calvinistic portion of his flock. Why, sir, said they, we think you dinna tell us...