SHERIDAN inquiring of his son what side of politics he should espouse on his inauguration to St. Stephen's, the son replied, that he intended to vote for those who offered best, an...
GEORGE SELWYN once affirmed, in company, that no woman ever wrote a letter without a postscript. My next letter shall refute you! said Lady G----. Selwyn soon after received a lett...
A WORTHY alderman, captain of a volunteer corps, was ordering his company to fall back, in order to dress with the line, and gave the word, Advance three paces back-wards! march!
WHEN Foote was on his way to France, for change of air, he went into the kitchen at the inn at Dover, to order a particular dish for dinner. The true English cook boasted that she...
IN a small party, the subject turning on matrimony, a lady said to her sister, I wonder, my dear, you have never made a match; I think you want the brimstone;--she replied, No, not...
A GENTLEMAN dining at a hotel, whose servants were few and far between, despatched a lad among them for a cut of beef. After a long time the lad returned, and was asked by the fain...
THE reigning bore at one time in Edinburgh was Professor L----; his favorite subject the North Pole. One day the arch tormentor met Jeffrey in a narrow lane, and began instantly on...
A CLERGYMAN in the country taking his text from the fourteenth verse of the third chapter of St. Matthew: And Peter's wife's mother lay sick of a fever, preached three Sundays on t...
A GREAT drinker being at table, they offered him grapes at dessert. Thank you! said he, pushing back the plate, I don't take my wine in pills!
HORNE TOOKE, being asked by George III. whether he played at cards, replied, I cannot, your Majesty, tell a king from a knave.
AN industrious tradesman having taken a new apprentice, awoke him at a very early hour on the first morning, by calling out that the family were sitting down to table. Thank you, s...
AT an evening party, Jerrold was looking at the dancers. Seeing a very tall gentleman waltzing with a remarkably short lady, he said to a friend at hand, Humph! there's the mile da...
A LADY reproving a gentleman during a hard frost for swearing, advised him to leave it off, saying it was a very bad habit. Very true, madam, answered he, but at present it is too...
A YOUNG farmer, inspecting his father's concerns in the time of hay-harvest, found a body of the mowers asleep, when they should have been at work. What is this? cried the youth; w...
GIBBON, the historian, was one day attending the trial of Warren Hastings in Westminster Hall, and Sheridan, having perceived him there, took occasion to mention the luminous autho...
DR. GARTH (so he is called in the manuscript), who was one of the Kit-Kat Club, coming there one night, declared he must soon be gone, having many patients to attend; but some good...
ARE you guilty, or not guilty? asked the clerk of arraigns of a prisoner the other day. An' sure now, said Pat, what are you put there for but to find that out?
MRS. FOOTE, mother of Aristophanes, experienced the caprice of fortune nearly as much as her son. The following laconic letters passed between them: Dear Sam, I am in prison.--Answ...
A TRADESMAN having dunned a customer for a long time, the debtor at last desired his servant one morning to admit him. My friend, said he to him, I think you are a very honest fell...
MR. TIERNEY, when alluding to the difficulty the Foxites and Pittites had in passing over to join each other in attacking the Addington Ministry (forgetting at the moment how easil...
A VISITOR at Churchtown, North Meols, thought people must like to be buried in the churchyard there, because it was so healthy.
WHEN Bannister was asked his opinion of a new singer that had appeared at Covent Garden, Why, said Charles, he may be Robin Hood this season, but he will be robbing Harris (the man...
CALL that a kind man, said an actor, speaking of an absent acquaintance; a man who is away from his family, and never sends them a farthing! Call that kindness? Yes, unremitting ki...
MR. ALEXANDER, the architect of several fine buildings in the county of Kent, was under cross-examination at Maidstone, by Serjeant (afterwards Baron) Garrow, who wished to detract...
MY notion of a wife at forty, said Jerrold, is, that a man should be able to change her, like a bank-note, for two twenties.
WHEN a late Duchess of Bedford was last at Buxton, and then in her eighty-fifth year, it was the medical farce of the day for the faculty to resolve every complaint of whim and cap...
SIR BOYLE ROACH, the droll of the Irish bar, sent an amusingly equivocal invitation to an Irish nobleman of his acquaintance: I hope, my Lord, if ever you come within a mile of my...
A GENTLEMAN who was on a tour, attended by an Irish servant-man, who drove the vehicle, was several times puzzled with the appearance of a charge in the man's daily account, entere...
ONE day, just as an English officer had arrived at Vienna, the empress knowing that he had seen a certain princess much celebrated for her beauty, asked him if it was really true t...
LORD M---- had a very exalted opinion of his own cleverness, and once made the following pointed remark: When I happen to say a foolish thing, I always burst out a laughing!--I env...