THE Duke of Norfolk of Foote's time was much addicted to the bottle. On a masquerade night, he asked Foote what new character he should go in. Go sober! said Foote.
JERROLD was enjoying a drive one day with a well-known,--a jovial spendthrift. Well, Jerrold, said the driver of a very fine pair of grays, what do you think of my grays? To tell y...
YOUR comedy I've read, my friend, And like the half you've pilfered best; But, sure, the Drama you might mend; Take courage, man, and steal the rest!
A FACETIOUS fellow having unwittingly offended a conceited puppy, the latter told him he was no gentleman.--Are you a gentleman? asked the droll one. Yes, sir, bounced the fop. The...
LORD ELLENBOROUGH, on his return from Hone's trial, suddenly stopped his carriage at Charing Cross, and said, It occurs to me that they sell the best herrings in London at that sho...
DR. BURNEY, who wrote the celebrated anagram on Lord Nelson, after his victory of the Nile, Honor est a Nilo (Horatio Nelson), was shortly after on a visit to his lordship, at his...
SOME gentlemen talking on the inattention of writers to punctuation, it was observed that the lawyers used no stops in their writings. I should not mind that, said one of the party...
IT was with as much delicacy as satire that Porson returned, with the manuscript of a friend, the answer, That it would be read when Homer and Virgil were forgotten, but not till t...
DR. BALGUY, a preacher of great celebrity, after having preached an excellent discourse at Winchester Cathedral, the text of which was, All wisdom is sorrow, received the following...
A ROMAN Catholic prelate requested Pugin, the architect, to furnish designs, etc., for a new church. It was to be very large, very handsome, and very cheap; the parties purposing t...
AN author once praised another writer very heartily to a third person. It is very strange, was the reply, that you speak so well of him, for he says that you are a charlatan.--O, r...
A GENTLEMAN, with the same Christian and surname, took lodgings in the same house with James Smith. The consequence was, eternal confusion of calls and letters. Indeed, the postman...
TWO friends meeting after an absence of some years, during which time the one had increased considerably in bulk, and the other still resembled only the effigy of a man,--said the...
AT a provincial Law Society's dinner the president called upon the senior attorney to give as a toast the person whom he considered the best friend of the profession. Certainly, wa...
A VERY dull man, after dinner, had been boring the company with a long discourse, in the course of which he had given utterance to ethical views as old as the hills, as though he h...
A WELSH judge, celebrated as a suitor for all sorts of places and his neglect of personal cleanliness, was thus addressed by Mr. Jekyll: As you have asked the Ministry for everythi...
A PARTY of bon-vivants, having drunk an immense quantity of wine, rang for the bill. The bill was accordingly brought, but the amount appeared so enormous to one of the company (no...
A STUPID person one day seeing a man of learning enjoying the pleasures of the table, said, So, sir, philosophers, I see, can indulge in the greatest delicacies.--Why not, replied...
ON Waterloo's ensanguined plain, Full many a gallant man lies slain; But none, by bullet or by shot, Fell half so flat as Walter Scott.
WE are told that a member for old Sarum (consisting of one large mansion) was once in danger of being pelted with stones; he would have found it hard to have been assailed with his...
A MAN who had a brother, a priest, was asked, Has your brother a living?--No.--How does he employ himself?--He says mass in the morning.--And in the evening?--In the evening he don...
IF a man were to set out calling everything by its right name, he would be knocked down before he got to the corner of the street.
AMONG a company of cheerful Irishmen, in the neighborhood of St. Giles, it was proposed by the host to make a gift of a couple of fowls to him that, off-hand, should write six line...
Quest. WHY is a pump like Viscount Castlereagh? Ans. Because it is a slender thing of wood, That up and down its awkward arm doth sway, And coolly shout, and spout, and spout away,...
(On Bishop ----'s Religion.) THOUGH not a Catholic, his lordship has, 'Tis plain, strong disposition to a-mass (a mass).
IN merry Old England it once was the rule, The king had his poet and also his fool; But now we're so frugal, I'd have you to know it, That Cibber can serve both for fool and for po...
THE most celebrated wits and bon vivants of the day graced the dinner-table of the late Dr. Kitchener, and, inter alia, the late George Colman, who was an especial favorite; his in...
THE Bishop preached: My friends, said he, How sweet a thing is charity, The choicest gem in virtue's casket! It is, indeed, sighed miser B., And instantly I'll go and--ask it.
Hampton-wick for a pot o' beer.' I declined the match; and the butcher's boy, as he stuck his single spur into his horse's side, exclaimed, with a look of contempt, 'I thought you...
WHAT plan, said an actor to another, shall I adopt to fill the house at my benefit?--Invite your creditors, was the surly reply.