A LADY requested her husband's permission to wear rouge. I can give you permission, my dear, he replied, only for one cheek.
EXAMPLE is better than precept they say, With our parson the maxim should run t'other way; For so badly he acts, and so wisely he teaches, We should shun what he does, and should d...
A SCEPTICAL man, conversing with Dr. Parr, observed that he would believe nothing that he did not understand. Dr. Parr, replied, Then young man, your creed will be the shortest of...
A COMEDIAN at Covent Garden advised one of the scene-shifters, who had met with an accident, to try a subscription; and a few days afterwards he asked for the list of names, which,...
BROWN drops in. Brown is said to be the toady of Jones. When Jones has the influenza, Brown dutifully catches cold in the head. Douglas Jerrold remarked to Brown, Have you heard th...
LORD BERKELEY was once dining with Lord Chesterfield (the pink of politeness) and a large party, when it was usual to drink wine until they were mellow. Berkeley had by accident sh...
WHEN the Lord Chancellor Thurlow was supposed to be on no very friendly terms with the Minister (Mr. Pitt), a friend asked the latter how Thurlow drew with them. I don't know, said...
A CERTAIN anti-illuminating marquis, since the memorable night of the passing of the Reform Bill, has constantly kept open house, at least, so we are informed by a person who latel...
LORD ELDON always pronounced the word lien as though it were lyon; and Sir Arthur Pigot pronounced the same word lean. On this Jekyll wrote the following epigram:-- Sir Arthur, Sir...
ONE drinking some beer at a petty ale-house in the country, which was very strong of the hops and hardly any taste of the malt, was asked by the landlord, if it was not well hopped...
A SEVERE snow-storm in the Highlands, which lasted for several weeks, having stopped all communication betwixt neighboring hamlets, snuff-takers were reduced to their last pinch. B...
A DIMINUTIVE lawyer appearing as witness in one of the Courts, was asked by a gigantic counsellor what profession he was of; and having replied that he was an attorney,--You a lawy...
To John I owed great obligation, But John, unhappily, thought fit To publish it to all the nation; Sure John and I are more than quit.
SIR JOHN HAMILTON, who had severely suffered from the persecutions of the law, used to say, that an attorney was like a hedgehog, it was impossible to touch him anywhere without pr...
ONE asked his friend, why he married so little a wife? Why, said he, I thought you knew, that of all evils we should choose the least.
IN a cause tried in the Court of Queen's Bench, the plaintiff being a widow, and the defendants two medical men who had treated her for delirium tremens, and put her under restrain...
A BARRISTER attempting to browbeat a female witness, told her she had brass enough to make a saucepan. The woman retorted, and you have sauce enough to fill it.
I SUPPOSE, said a quack, while feeling the pulse of his patient, that you think me a humbug?--Sir, replied the sick man, I perceive that you can discover a man's thoughts by your t...
SHERIDAN was one day much annoyed by a fellow-member of the House of Commons, who kept crying out every few minutes, Hear! hear! During the debate he took occasion to describe a po...
THESE walls, so full of monuments and bust, Show how Bath waters serve to lay the dust.
AN illiterate vendor of beer wrote over his door at Harrogate, Bear sold here.--He spells the word quite correctly, said Theodore Hook, if he means to apprise us that the article i...
LORD NORTH'S good humor and readiness were of admirable service to him when the invectives of his opponents would have discomforted a graver minister. He frequently indulged in a r...
AT one of the annual dinners of the members of the Chapel Royal, a gentleman had been plaguing Edward Cannon with a somewhat dry disquisition on the noble art of fencing. Cannon fo...
WHEN at the head of our most gracious king, Disloyal Collins did his pebble fling,-- Why choose, with tears the injured monarch said, So hard a stone to break so soft a head?
ON being informed that the judges in the Court of Common Pleas had little or nothing to do, Bushe remarked, Well, well, they're equal to it!
A SOLDIER in the army of the Duke of Marlborough took the name of that general, who reprimanded him for it. How am I to blame, general? said the soldier. I have the choice of names...
THE great scholar had a horror of the east wind; and Tom Sheridan once kept him prisoner in the house for a fortnight by fixing the weathercock in that direction.
HE that will never look upon an ass, Must lock his door and break his looking-glass.
DAY, 1787. THE City-feast inverted here we find, For Pitt had his dessert before he dined.
AT a party of college grandees, one of the big-wigs proposed that each gentleman should toast his favorite Belle. When it came to the turn of Dr. Barrett (who happened to be one of...