MR. BROUGHAM, when at the bar, opened before Lord Chief Justice Tenterden an action for the amount of a wager laid upon the event of a dog-fight, which, through some unwillingness...
A NOBLEMAN ventured, in a moment of conviviality at his grace's table, to put this question to him: Allow me to ask, as we are all here titled, if you were not SURPRISED at Waterlo...
SIR WILLIAM DAWES, Archbishop of York, was very fond of a pun. His clergy dining with him, for the first time, after he had lost his lady, he told them he feared they did not find...
be passed upon you according to law? Prisoner: Well, my Lord, my wife took up with a hawker, and run away five years ago, and I've never seen her since, and I married this other wo...
A CORRESPONDENT, something new Transmitting, signed himself X.Q. The editor his letter read, And begged he might be X.Q.Z.
A RECENT philosopher discovered a method to avoid being dunned! How--how--how? we hear everybody asking. He never run in debt.
SHERIDAN was once asked by a gentleman: How is it that your name has not an O prefixed to it? Your family is Irish, and no doubt illustrious.--No family, replied Sheridan, has a be...
A MAN being tried for sheep-stealing, evidence was given that he had been seen washing tripe. The counsel for the Crown, in examining the witness, observed with ill-timed indelicac...
SOON after Professor Porson returned from a visit to the Continent, at a party where he happened to be present, a gentleman solicited a sketch of his journey. Porson immediately ga...
HARRY, I cannot think, says Dick, What makes my ankles grow so thick. You do not recollect, says Harry, How great a calf they have to carry.
A LADY'S beauty is dear to her at all times. A very lovely woman, worn out with a long and painful sickness, begged her attendants to desist rubbing her temples with Hungary water,...
LORD ERSKINE and Dr. Parr, who were both remarkably conceited, were in the habit of conversing together, and complimenting each other on their respective abilities. On one of these...
I WOULD, says Fox, a tax devise That shall not fall on me. Then tax receipts, Lord North replies, For those you never see.
WHEN Lord Lauderdale intimated his intentions to repeat some good thing Sheridan had mentioned to him, Pray, don't, my dear Lauderdale, said the wit; a joke in your mouth is no lau...
A LADY was followed by a beggar, who very importunately asked her for alms. She refused him; when he quitted her, saying, with a profound sigh, Yet the alms I asked you for would h...
A PRISONER, who had received notice that he was to die the next morning, was asked by some of his unfortunate companions to share their repast with them. He answered, I never eat a...
A CERTAIN physician was so fond of administering medicine, that, seeing all the phials and pill-boxes of his patient completely emptied, and ranged in order on the table, he said,...
A SCHOOLBOY being asked by the teacher how he should flog him, replied, If you please, sir, I should like to have it upon the Italian system--the heavy strokes up-wards, and the do...
A GENTLEMAN, thinking he was charged too much by a porter for the delivery of a parcel, asked him what his name was. My name, replied the man, is the same as my father's.--And what...
OF a light, frivolous, flighty girl, whom Jerrold met frequently, he said, That girl has no more head than a periwinkle.
AT the last rehearsal of Joanna, Mr. Wild, the prompter, asked the author for an order to admit two friends to the boxes; and whether Mr. Cumberland was thinking of the probable pr...
ROGERS used to relate this story: An Englishman and a Frenchman fought a duel in a darkened room. The Englishman, unwilling to take his antagonist's life, generously fired up the c...
THE Duke of B----, who was to have been one of the knights of the Eglinton tournament, was lamenting that he was obliged to excuse himself, on the ground of an attack of the gout....
HO! Tommy, bawls Type, to a brother in trade, The ministry are to be changed, it is said. That's good, replied Tom, but it better would be With a trifling erratum.--What?--Dele the...
A MERCHANT having been attacked by some thieves at five in the afternoon, said: Gentlemen, you open shop early to-day.
I AM unable, yonder beggar cries, To stand or move. If he says true, he lies.
I SHALL not easily forget the sarcasm of Swift's simile as he told us of the Prince of Orange's harangue to the mob of Portsmouth. We are come, said he, for your good--for all your...
KING JAMES used to say, that he never knew a modest man make his way in a court. As he was repeating this expression one day, a David Floyd, who was then in waiting at his Majesty'...
IT is with narrow-souled people as with narrow-necked bottles,--the less they have in them, the more noise they make in pouring it out.
SIR RICHARD JEBB, the famous physician, who was very rough and harsh in his manner, once observed to a patient to whom he had been extremely rude, Sir, it is my way.--Then, returne...